The film follows a group of twenty-something boys living in the valley who work promoting clubs but yearn for something more. Zac Efron wants to be a DJ, and run with other fabulous DJs including Kygo, Skrillex and Vanderpump Rules' superstar DJ James Kennedy (jkjk). Zac's buddy Squirrel is the film's answer to "Squints" from the Sandlot: He's dorky and little and wears a douchey flat-brim hat and has a heart of gold. Out of the four boys he's definitely supposed to be the smart one. Another one named Mason looks like a Nazi skinhead. He's supposed to be the edgy bad boy, but the character was one-dimensional and made me anxious. Finally, Ollie is played by a darling Johnny Depp knockoff Shiloh Fernandez. (That's pretty much all I remember about his performance, but I ain't mad.) Emily Ratajkowski plays a gorgeous bad actress with big boobies. Oh wait. Fianlly, Wes Bentley stars as a once relevant DJ named James Reed.
Early in the film, Zac and James Reed meet at a club and share a PCP cigarette and Zac gets high and turns into a cartoon. Tbh it's pretty much like The Pagemaster but not as good because there aren't any dragons. The guys continue to struggle, Zac DJs a lot in bro tanks, and Emily Ratajkowski does some uncomfortable dancing that's supposed to be sexy and endearing, but it's how I move when I have a yeast infection. Stuff happens that was too inconsequential and redundant to even remember specifically up until one of the friends (like in the title, "We are your Friends") dies tragically of a drug and alcohol overdose. Here's the thing: this didn't have my heart bleeding the way Simon Birch or Hardball did. For those of you who are monsters and don't recall these movies, Simon Birch dies saving a bus of children in a freezing bus accident, and G-baby is struck by a stray bullet. However, in #WAYF, Squirrel dies by being reckless. Call me evil and insensitive (wouldn't be the first time), but while this changed the lives of the #friends in #weareyourfriends, I just found it to be an over-the-top attempt to make me feel something, which wasn't earned because the characters were surface level and I didn't care about any of them. The death of Squirrel causes Zac to come up with an EPIC beat and performs at Summerfest with the help of pal James Reed. In the climax of the film, Zac performs his piece and everyone is obsessed with it. It's kind of like the time the Rancho Carne Toros piece together different types of dance to slay at nationals! Just like that, except I didn't care.
The film ends with Zac and Emily Ratajkowski holding hands in coffee shops while everyone else raves on the beach. The end.
Now you may ask, "Who is she to judge #WAYFMOVIE? She hasn't even been in anything!" But don't forget, I banged a guy who was in something, so I'm obviously on my way to the top.